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How can anyone think men need it, but women don't as a general rule? The significant differences are cultural not biological. My current SO veers into this realm a lot with the blue balss stuff or he did, until one night he realized how frustrated I got when he overstimulated me and I couldn't have an orgasm. Guys think they are so different because things seem more apparent. Whether your 'some' is relevant here is up for question. The OP's wife apparently has heard much of what you are promoting and it AIN'T working! Isn't that the point, to find what works for him AND his wife? Women get bored and frustrated too. looking to find a role playing playmate
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