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on the Women's Issues forum, as this is a forum geared toward queer women. But then I realized that your issue isn't exclusive to heterosexual people. You can't know how your presence might or might not effect his, their mother, or anyone. That's not your concern. That's his and you should trust that he's capable of handling his own business. Your only concern should be how you feel. Tell him in a straightforward manner. If he shares your feelings, then the two of you figure out a way to make it work. And if he doesn't, well then presuming you're both mature adults, you'll figure out a way to stay friends if you really want. Good luck. And one more thing: All mothers are not "hardwired" to be insanely vindictive. recent widower looking for cuddle buddy
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