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both of you can't be leaders, nor followers. One of you has to choose to be the follower. In your situation, it seems to me you expect her to be okay with giving up her dreams to follow you, but you're not okay with doing the same to follow her. So your screenname "2face" is appropriate. It HAS to be one or the other for any marriage to work. Power-struggles are infinitely difficult to overcome when both of you are determined to be the leader. Not impossible, but very very rare. Choose to lead, and maintain what you've got now on the West Coast without her; or choose to follow her where she goes. It's that simple, and that difficult. wanted generous Bracey Virginia woman for unusual situationlisten to this! My husband's dad lives in the middle of the country and we live on the west coast, so we him about 4 times/year. However, when he visits, he stays with us for about a week. Not bad, right? Well, my FIL is a Raw Foodist, which is exactly what it sounds like. He only eats raw foods. Veggies, fruits, nuts and seeds. It has become his religion, and he is evangelical about it. judgemental of anything different and comment on our diets(and we are vegetarians!) So every time he visits he takes over the entire kitchen "preparing" his meals. There is a lot of blending, crushing, pureeing, dehydrating, and processing involved. He uses just about every tool in the kitchen and turns it into his space while he's visiting. (Again, he doesn't visit that often so we have accepted this). Basiy, any activity we do has to revolve around how he is going to eat. It is so ridiculous that we just have to laugh about it and remember that we don't him all that often. My husband has a graduation ceremony this weekend so his dad is staying with us for the week. Last night I woke up to a lot of weird noises coming from my kitchen and bathroom. DH was fast asleep and I just tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. This morning I woke up to an open ENEMA box on my kitchen counter. WHAT?! This gave himself an enema at MY HOUSE! So, I know it is hilarious, but it's also disturbing! The can afford a motel and just chooses not to. He has never ASKED, just told us that he is coming to stay with us. I really wish that he would stay somewhere but DH feels guilty telling his dad to stay somewhere, and I'm sure it would hurt his feelings. Do I just let it lie? Ahhh!!! lonely bbw
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