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I feel like a mindfuck is so totally dependent upon trust, that the motivations of the person in the control position are of utmost importance, as is a clear enough understanding of what the consent allow. If the goals are to push boundaries and create recoverable discomfort, and that is what is accomplished, great. If under the same goals, what is accomplished is the creation of abject fear and a threat response, then I believe the consent boundary has been pushed. So then, it is either a matter of safeword or willingness to process afterward in a manner both agree to follow. Messing with someone's head is often used out of the realm of consent, ie. interrogation, but there is no out. If there are concerns of going too far, whether physiy or emotionally, then prearrange an out. Aaahh This so got me thinking of some wonderful levels of being uncomfortable. Wondering who can you or what is going on when you aren't fully clothed and your eyes are closed is one of my faves! horny lonely old Lincolnshire sexThanks for sharing! However, I do not share your view. I do indeed have boundaries when it comes to polyamory and especially when it comes to sex. I've known the MP couple for 10 years, had the pleasure of watching them fall in, and the honor of officiating their wedding. Despite countless opportunities to be sexual with them, I hadn't reached a level of intimacy with them that allowed me to comfortably cross that boundary until a couple years ago. While talking with them last night about all this, I was happy to discover that their boundaries indeed match mine: in that we don't want to date each other, but want to continue a loving friendship which include a sexual expression of that if/when the mood strikes us. I've known DK for two years, and it wasn't until I felt that these swingers matched our to express our friendly for each other in a sexual way on occassion that I invited them to experience that with us. Yes, we definitely had a lot of fun while having group sex together, but that was only possible precisely because of the friendly we all share for each other. In my opinion that is a very good definitely of polyamory, or at least of a friendship-with-benefits relationship, rather than as a type of relationship with little or no emotional attachment like swinging, fuck-buddies or polyfuckery. chat lines
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