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The logical, rational part of me knows the "rules" and the pointlessness of trying to keep up ties with someone who obviously does not care. But there is this poetic/childish, immature/romantic part of me that keeps telling me that it has to mean something, the things we said to each other, the ease with which we fell into each other, the laughing and the cuddling, etc. etc. etc. that it has to mean something. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? For a certain amount of time we're totally into each other and them boom! nothing? I was the one that sat down and analyzed everything and decided that for me to reject the "let's be friends" offer meant that all I cared about was the sex. That if I really did care about this then I should be able to say, "Ok it didn't work out, but I still want you in my life." And now I don't even ask him to me or to out. I really don't. Because to him would be to perpetuate. I've even de-evolved from hoping for a phone to just wanting to back and forth once in a while. Just to how he's doing, to shoot the shit, to make sure he's happy. No, he wasn't my first boyfriend. On a side note, I read this on a lot of help-me-get-over-my-ex websites where people claim that to be completely honest with someone who wants to break up with you about how much you like them is desperate and needy. But I don't stalk him, him or even talk about my feelings for him anymore. Is it really desperate and needy to wonder why someone who claims that they "still care about you" wouldn't even find the time to follow up a "I'll you next week" with a or an? Just as common human courtesy? This shit blows, I was so happy being single. And now I haven't bought a new bottle of lube in months. you liked my mature Fairmont women calculatorBlech, so hard. I hear ya. Every time I've moved, that is the worst part about it. A few things that might be worth trying 1. Volunteering. You make friends at work easily, right? There's a few reasons for that it's easier to make friends when you share common interests or passions. Plus, it's way less awkward to get to know someone when your busy, like swinging a or serving in a soup line. 2. Join a club, group or sport. Same reasons as above. Pursue something you've always wanted to learn about. I have a recent friend I made in a cooking class, and another from a lecture series I joined. I have old friends from choirs I've been in and plays I've been a part of. I have a huge amount of friends from my roller derby years. When you're in that exhilarating learning phase, it's easy to talk to people. 3. Get a dog. Besides the companionship and unyielding, they are great for meeting people, plus they'll get you out of the house and active. I've had my dog for a year and now I know almost everyone in my neighborhood and every person at the dog park. I'd lived in my apartment for 5 years before the dog and didn't know anyone. 4. Look closer at those 'people you know'. Are there any you'd like to be friendlier with? Be brave, and ask them to join you to a museum or something. What's the worst that can happen? Also realize that real friendships take time and effort to develop just like any relationship. It's not something that just 'happens'. Yeah, maybe when you're in school, but it becomes harder as an adult and it takes effort. So shit or get off the pot, either make peace with loneliness or change it. It's not easy in any way, but very few things that are truly meaningful are. sex lady
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