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- my post below entitles "What's up with that?" for further details on my current situation .. My 6th Grade teacher once ed me Champion of the Underdogs. I stood up for the little guy. I fought battles that no one wanted. Mess with me?? No big deal, I'll get over it. Mess with someone I care about?? That's it, now you've crossed the line!! Yes, I bring home limping puppies who bite me when they feel better and then run away. But, why?? I suppose my need for acceptance plays a role here. Nice guys are accepting right away no challenge. Bad boys push your limits, test you, and make you feel needed. I'm just as messed up as the next gal, so I have a tendency to be accepting of differences. Plus, I have tons of (too much, almost to a fault) and am very forgiving. Sometimes, all that bad boy needs is somebody to count on because maybe they never had that before. Yes, it's the old exception to the rule trap. For anybody who saw or read "he's just not that into you", you know what I'm talking about. I'm trying to get past that, and accept myself as the rule and not the exception. Which is why (- post below) I can move on from my current sitch knowing that everything be okay. girl to love and take care of1. Military legal assistance offices don't do divorces your husband have to do it himself or pay for a civilian attorney. 2. You can get a military ID for both yourself and your without his assistance. Call the main number for his air station and ask for the number to the id office. Tell them he won't give you the necessary paperwork for an ID and ask them what to do. Get your marriage license and go if he is on the birth certificate, you can get one for too, without his help. 3. BIG BARGAINING CHIP FOR YOU whatever you do while on the base is HIS responsibility. If you have an id and write hot checks on base, his ass is on the line (yours, too, but YOU aren't military and they don't play!) 4. You are entitlted to retirement the ten year thing is when the military take it from him and send it directly to you. Before ten years, it's up to you to collect thru court system they won't help you. 5. Keep going UP the chain of command everybody has a boss, and eventually you find someone who either doesnt agree with what your spouse has done, or who gets pissed off at you takes it out on HIM. Either way you win. A good place to start, besides his CO, is his unit's chaplain. My response is based on actual life experience been there, done that. And yes, you can make his life hell. Use threats. If he gets in enough trouble over this, or enough people are pissed off, it can result in him never making rank again that means in civilian terms no promotions. My ex spent the last 13 years of his 23 year career at the same pay grade after what he pulled, he wasn't promotion material his evals were never high enough after that. Make sure your spouse knows this can affect his entire career! extramarital dating
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