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But you should draw up a list of your personal dealbreakers (qualities you absolutely cannot tolerate in a mate) and consider dating any guy who does not have one of them, rather than only looking for men who are your "type." After all, your type led you to the ex, and he was no prize. Important: your requirements should NOT include things like "blonde hair" or "over six feet" or "very -". Those are preferences, not absolutes. Choose your dealbreakers carefully and be sure to include all the worst qualities of your ex in the list. 40 ish m seeking discrete relation with fI've been married twice (now single) but my take is that it's a helluva lot more work to go down on a than to go down on a woman. Consider doing to a cucumber (of similar size and girth) exactly what you'd for her to do to your penis, with the same enthusiasm. Seriously. Masturbate into a cup first, so that after you're done pleasuring the cucumber, you can swallow your cum. And even if you don't like it, smile, sigh, lick your lips slowly and pretend to adore it. I promise, it's easier to suck on and lick a peach than to pleasure an erect penis. don't even get me started on the joys of giving deep throat. My ex, who was a two minute wonder during intercourse, could manage to hold out forever while getting a BJ. And I gave good BJ's. Talk about a sore neck, mouth, etc. Like your situation, he expected oral but never reciprocated. So I understand your frustration. My take is that your wife is being somewhat selfish receiving oral but not reciprocating. But, if she senses that you give it in order to receive it, she prefer not to get it at all. Truth is, some women have an aversion to going down, and pressuring them only adds resentment to the mix. If gentle persuasion as others have suggested helps, be prepared with flavored condoms. Do NOT pressure her to compete with BS porn (real women don't like cum in their face/boobs/hair), and gratefully accept whatever she's comfortable giving. HTH, FWIW. adult match
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