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The phrase about him treating you “politely” bothers me. This statement seems to evoke serious emotional distance, good and bad. The “passion” of trying to relate to each other is normal. This nebulous thing about being “happy” always puzzles me as I have no idea what that means..to YOU. And, as an adult you need to know that ALL happiness is transient. The truly valuable things in a relationship go much deeper and are a constant in a good marriage, these things usually last your entire life. When you get couples who are not innately communicative and you mix in a little time you get allot of issues being pushed into a back burner. These issues be small but their cumulative effects can be very large. Going to a counselor be forcing him to “open up” and maybe he’s just not ready to do that, ergo all the sudden anger. You might want to put this off until he is ready. Right now it just force him to really cut the cord on the marriage. counselors are not really trained to deal with deep root issues (as you and he have) and they can do more harm than good trying to get things more communicative. As far as a suggestion. Try to get to the root of the communications issues by seeing a good psychotherapist and if he can find out why you have your communications problems and what you can do about it. After you get a handle on how to deal with your problems, you might be able to help him..either by getting him to go or through your actions make life more livable. My focus is on fixing the problem and not the symptoms. Good luck. college ed mid thirties likes tech types and nice hotels
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