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and sometimes you have a mixed pair trying to arrange for a first meal, with mutual incomprehension of each other's positions. One party has no idea why you'd want to waste over an hour getting to know someone with whom there's no immediate chemistry; the other can't be bothered coming out for a chillingly businesslike inspection, by someone who isn't enough interested in humans to spend a little time regardless. The better one understands the other kind, the easier it might be to negotiate this. Or I could just stick with people of my own frame of mind. I emailed with one dude yesterday who told me scarcely anything (just basic stats about his height, weight, income, age, marital status, # of -), resisted answering any other questions, was greatly against a Dutch treat meal for the first date, did not want to talk on the phone for half an hour or so as I normally do before meeting, and expected me to be ready to meet for coffee based on stats alone. We had not exchanged pictures, but I didn't care about that: I was trying to find out if we had any shared interests, and he wouldn't say. Of course we not be meeting. But I am trying to figure out how much of this is SOP in the dating world, how much is his resentment of other women he feels wasted his time, how much is his own special brand of impatience to find a little chemistry and get laid, and how much is reasonable. wives looking ArnesanoBut if I were expecting to eat somewhere a little fancier, I'd be a little miffed that I wasn't told until after I had gotten myself ready to go to a fancier place. -'s is a place with waiters and dishes, too, but I sure as hell wouldn't make any effort to look nice to go there beyond my every day look. The key is knowing this before you're getting ready, though, and not just as you're heading out the door with a nice dress and heels on. I feel the same with Garden, though it's a bit better than -'s, my every day look is fine for there. I'd feel out of place to be dressed up eating at either of those places since can eat there in their soccer uniforms. I'd personally be disappointed if a took me out PERIOD if he couldn't afford to eat out. Eating a nice meal at home is cheaper, tastes better, and is much more romantic anyway. I wonder why this guy didn't even bother to ask his gf if she'd be willing to cover her half or all of the meal so that she could get the food she wanted, and he could get the he wanted. Why is he the only one that pays? His pride? Why didn't he ask her if she'd be willing just to eat the main course from now on and only eat appetizers that are free with the meal? That's really not much to ask, and any woman worth anything would be fine with that. Or why didn't he offer to make dinner with her and possibly go out for dessert? A walk with an ice cream cone is cheap. Or why he didn't ask her why exactly she wanted that particular restaurant but instead chose to come up with his own conclusions as to why? That says a lot about his poor opinion of her. He had so options he could have tried if he'd only have had the to have been a little creative. student sex parties
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