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" want us to put in new carpet and paint and totally re-decorate in a style that represents us both, so that it be our home and not me staying in his. How do I go about discussing all this with him without him backing way up again and just forgetting the moving in together? " Well apparently you nened help in the truth-telling AND how to have discussions without chasing him away department. "totally redecorate" and "everything was perfect" no contradictions (aka LIES) there kettering casual sexready for a divorce simply because you sound very close to indifference or are already there. When some one can't inspire any type of passionate response in me, good or bad, I know the relationship is in it's death throes. Contrary to other posters. I don't think 3 years is that to get over an affair. Hell I think most people NEVER get over an affair. And really, it would be easier to get over an affair if the person who messed up was bending over backward or at least showing they are sorry, for as as it took to make things right again in the marriage. If I were you, I'd start going to a counselor to work out my thoughts on divorce for myself if I were an unsure as you. I appreciate that you tried to paint for us the financial and career tones, in your marriage. But don't let whatever success you have, get in the way of moving forward with your life even if it doesn't include your wife. You only have so years on this earth. You don't want to spend any of them unnessarily hitched to some one who makes you miserable. Money is just money. There always be more. Your time, your intimate moments, your energy and your happiness are much more finite. You don't have to let 5 years of married life dictate how you spend the rest of your adulthood. And you really need to stop caring what people think of you. A lot of marriages don't work out for various reasons and very few people can say it was any one person's fault. As abhorent as the divorce stigma be, people can smell an unhappy marriage a mile away and the accompanied pity is worse in my opinion. match dating
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