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you want her to be and, that you've realized you need to negotiate how living together works for you in a couple. Perhaps if you say "I want to remain close to my friends and involved in things that I do on my own" instead of saying "you need to talk with other people ". I always hate it when people tell me what I want/need. I know perfectly well what I want/need. However, if someone owns what they want I am much more able to hear it. Just own what you want and let her be who she wants to be. Then, if she has trouble with you being away from her or if she fears that you be too intimate with someone you can deal with that issue when it comes up.. staying real and being honest isn't always easy or painless. There be tears and upset feelings but at least you both get to be yourselves. need some light skinned love in my chocolate lifeIf the posts that he was thinking of looking elsewhere because his wife seems totally uninterested in sex during menopause, we would have told him to consider the health factors etc, and read him the riot act for thinking it was license to run around. If the posts saying he's having trouble keeping an erection, I'd say exactly the same as to her: are his hands and mouth broken? Has he looked into Viagra? Or is he too lazy to keep her happy now and then? We don't know how OP's been cold. My offhand guess is, it takes a time, not a two-week dry spell, to get exasperated enough to say something that sharp. I could be wrong. But this is a serious wake-up. OP's lucky he's saying it to her face and giving her a to fix it, instead of cheating first and asking questions later. We can only advise the person who posts, because that is the only person he/she has control over. OP can't assume that menopause is a license to it up and marriage is going to keep the other person trapped forever. If you want your mate to remain contented and also monogamous, there's nothing misogynistic about saying you have some obligation to keep said spouse happy, even when you're having trouble getting moist or keeping it up. (And just for the record, both unselfemployed and I are female and past 50.) private sexdates
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