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Ok, I have zero experience with these kinds of situations, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents here. Speaking as someone who had to grow up with a (heterosexual) parent that dated someone who really resented having me around (and made me live with them for years!), I can tell you that it was not a fun time. If your girlfriend can't step up to the plate anymore, then it should be a wrap. Seriously. That being said, change is often really difficult to initiate, often to the point where it's easier to make excuses to keep a crappy situation going (. perceived financial issues, "maybe they need more time" etc) so that you don't have to deal with it, but I don't think you or your girlfriend are necessarily trapped by unchangeable circumstances here. I think Old-gold said it best the thing with "deli girl" sounds like a fun, pleasant distraction but frankly, it's a cop-out to dealing with what you have going on with your relationship. Again, it's easier to make excuses in order to avoid scary, messy life changes, but the adult thing to do for everyone involved is to just face those issues head on. where is my good old friend mo white female looking for her first black encounter
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