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Briefly my married "perfect family" friend who I TOTALLY respected looked up to came out 5 years ago divorced his wife. While surprised I tried to be supportive since they were like a second family. after he brought his new term BF to visit the bf was racist, trashy, demeaning, half his age (my friend is mid-50s), and was obviously using my friend. I kept quiet even when my once-strong friend cried every night. When I got upset they were having sex in my condo pool during the day pawing each other like teens everywhere we went I was ed uptight. Oh yeah the bf came onto me. After the visit, my friend asked if I slept with his bf (shudder) and I explained the bf came onto me. My old friend buys the bf's explanation that he thought MY bf was not good looking enough for me he wanted to help make me feel sexy wanted. Ugh! The I looked up to like an older sibling seems to have changed on every level. It's like a complete personality change and all our talks now are short I feel like a stranger. Having dinner next week to if I can salvage our old relationship but I am stuck!! Any tips on how to deal with this? lend u helping hand ladiesI actually know quiet a bit about buddhism, in the scholarly sense. I have studied it extensively in college and grad school. It is amazing how you can study something and understand it intellectually but not "get" it. I "got" it for the first time when my grandmother died. I had an amazing vision of a girl being born and somehow "knowing" that the soul of my grandmother was being reborn. Maybe it was searching for some sort of solace and comfort, maybe it was wishful thinking, but it came to me without conscious thought my unconscious taking everythign I studied and all the crap with Catholic bull that I had been struggling against and it just worked for me. One of the very few unconscious religious moments or awakenings I have ever had. But I struggle with societal acceptance in my suburban New England town. I have a spouse whom I dearly, but doesn't understand or want our (being raised by lesbians) to be buddhist and be even weirder. There are no temples, no communities of Buddhists near me that have any vibrance. Finding a buddhist community, never mind a particular sect, would be difficult. UU appeals to me. It has the meditative qualities that I am looking for. It allows for the individuals own path to the divine. I am strugglng with accepting human flaws right now I recently moved. I had been attending a UU church and was very moved each service by the reverand. FOr some reason, the UU church closest to my new house is lackluster. Small congregation and for the past two weeks, lay leaders have been running it and it has failed to move me too much ego dripping out of them. So, still I search. old lady
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