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Dear Foxy: Riding the Q from Brighton Beach, there you were, on the opposite bench, surprisingly youthful and confident, but it was YOU alright. I am crying, still, now, as I write this, as I was so sure that I would never, ever you again. And there you were, on a rainy Monday evening…happy, whole.. All the things you were not or, rather really WERE, but that you just couldn't, blinded by life as you were. It was as if tonight I got to with my eyes what I always saw with my heart—YOU as a whole, not a full of holes… YOU under the mask you had to wear. Do remember, back in the day? everything is so different now. Cooper Union, the Day of Desperation, the camraderie despite the gloom, a pale glow now. I never, EVER, imagined I’d feel nostalgic for those days, and I certainly never entertained the thought I’d still be here, all these years later. And still alone. How was it possible that we found that happiness then, you were my first real friend, before we fell in and then, broke apart again. By accepting me for who I was, you taught me to accept myself. It always anguished me to know that you never learned to yourself the same way. I know I won't you on the other side, you always said that, in the end, you were so tired, you wouldn't be joining us in the afterlife, as you needed your rest after hard traveling the road you found here in this life. I know you won’t be reading this, but I needed to say hello, to say to someone: I still my friend, to say I am unspeakably grateful to have known you, and that you let me your ghost one time again. I KNOW it was you who fleshed out that boy’s body…then dissolved again into the dusk on Dekalb Avenue. I had to fight the need to speak to you—that poor kid would have rightly though I was crackers but that would have dispersed the spell, and although I didn’t know it, I needed to you again. I you know how much I still you all the time. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. Sometimes it is full of sadness and sorrow, mostly gratitude because even then WE KNEW how lucky we were to have found each other. Always, YOURS, even when I’m not… mature adult women Columbia Missouri
Been with this smart, nice guy for 4 months. We are having fun going out and have a lot of great sex. I believe by his actions he likes me and I am crazy for him. But he's got a ghost. He's still in with her though they haven't spoken in 3 years. She chose someone, but he is leaving only enough space in his heart for her, it seems. He's hoping she come back into his life But he still dates and has sex with me. When we are together it seems very special; he is attentive, generous, kind. Every so often he brings her up for example, tells me her favorite dish at the restaurant we are dining in. He is Poly, (I am not sure I am) so maybe there can be a place for me even as a secondary relationship to this ghost who has the prime spot. I'm flesh and blood (and there) and yet a memory still gets his. This is f*d up because I am falling in with him. I am not a woman who believes I can change him. It feels so great most of the time, but don't know if I can live as #2. Should it just be "fun" for the moment or should I get out before my heart pays the price? How do I handle this? of french cinema and long term loversI am an artist, and I joined two local artist groups this past week. They are a lot younger than me. :-) I have been looking around for an older home to purchase and possibly fix up- I am really good at hands on remodeling. I just laid tile for a friend going through a divorce- she is in a really bad spot. My husband is nice some days, and ice cold others- it is like two ghost sharing a house. Moving forward- keeping positive. horny married women
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