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a lot of good things for you too consider, not the least of which is the monumental amount of work it's going to take to fix things. He can "out logic" you and use all the fancy language he wants but none of that shit matters if bottom line, you are unhappy. Which is what I would tell him when he starts in with the "logic." It is problematic that is he so disengaged that your happiness means so little. It sounds to me like you two have hit a wall and need to get to marriage counseling before things get worse or one of you makes a rash decisions. I'd say you are rip fruit for having an affair so please handle this situation before you do something regrettable. submissive woman Kettlersville OhioThe clue is when you wrote that she said if you are going to play that game and expect me to do it all forget it. She feels pressure and performance anxiety. She probably took the fruit basket and the anniversary night as additional pressure and cracked. With this kind of thing you need to back off. You never get where you want to be with her. Can you accept that? Once she gets the message that you accept her for who she is and what she wants, the pressure be off and she might be more interested in sex. Learning to talk to each other without pressure is hard. I forget if you mentioned it. Have you guys been to counseling? That would help. black horny
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