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Obituaries are histories. They memorialize our dead and bring them back to life. I had forgotten Firestone over the years. But reading Faludi’s tribute to her reminded me of what that time was like, the fervid nature of early Second-Wave feminism and how it changed my own life and the lives of so women around me. Re-reading Owen’s poetry reminds me of how much we lose without concomitant histories; Faludi interviewed dozens of people who had known Firestone. But Owen’s family destroyed every detail of his life that wasn’t a poem. And so we never know, for sure. Just like we never know for sure about Sakia Gunn. Because she was only 15, because she was black, because she was a lesbian, because she was just starting to live her real life, heading to the queer hangouts in Greenwich Village, feeling her strong butch self, details were scant about her. Unlike Shepard, her father wasn’t a diplomat, her mother wasn’t an activist. Keeping her legacy alive has been left to those of us who consider her female, of color life of equal importance. Sakia Gunn’s murder told me a lot about her life. It tells me she fought. It tells me she made her voice heard. It tells me she wasn’t about pretense. It tells me she was brave. It tells me she died telling the truth about her life. These lives–and sadly violent deaths–remind us of why we need to take note of our dead, pay tribute to their lives, leave a lasting memorial. In respects, obituaries are our only histories. In small-town newspaper where we read of someone survived by their longtime companion, this is the only notation of a queer life and death. For centuries that was the only thin marker of our queer lives. a boy fuck a Juneau Wisconsin girl
Though that's about to change. And it'll most likely be a beater for a while. ::shrug:: As as I get to where I need to go, I don't give a fuck. Though I do require a working sound system. No fucking way am I driving in silence. Colon Nebraska oral sexI'm an out-of-the-closet married bisexual. I a lot of bi guys posting about having a difficult time finding someone who he can feel comfortable with, whether it's your first time, or your hundredth time. If a guy is limiting his searching to only when he is in the mood, it most likely only end up being dissapointing you jerk off instead, or get cold feet at the thought of being with someone you barely know, and of course, this is even more so, especially for nervous newbies. A little advice, if you want to find a quality guy for those times when you need male/male contact, keep continuing your search for a guy, even though you aren't in the mood, or on your 'wave'. Most bi guys understand the "wave" so you aren't alone. don't limit yourself to finding a guy on only one site. I had a posting on six different sites, to find that one guy who fit with me perfectly. Keep in mind that a lot of guys are too nervous to actually post an ad and prefer to scan through ads until he sees something he likes. So, post an ad in a few local sites. Most importantly, be specific what you are looking for, instead of a one or two line ad. If you want another married guy for exclusivity, then specifiy so. Set out your limits, ie: oral, anal, kissing, cum-swallowing, bareback/condoms only. don't meet at a guy's house without first having a no-expectation coffee/drink to establish in-person chemistry. There have been times when the pics and sound great, but the in-person chemistry just wasn't there. There are lots of guys out there who are okay with "blind hook-ups" (meeting for a one-time fling without any prior conversation or meeting) but there are guys like me, who aren't into "hooking up now" Some guys just don't care what's attached to the other end of the cock or where's it been lately. So don't be afraid to ask about things that you want to know, like if a guy has had a recent std test. Lots of guys won't tell you much so keep looking until you find that right guy who you feel comfortable with. It took me months to find a guy, but wow definitely worth the wait. married wife
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