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If your wife was the type of person that you're making her out to be, you probably wouldn't have married her. You've said a thousand bad things about her, and painted yourself as world's greatest father and husband. People who were previously pleasant enough to dearly enough to, don't typiy change for no reason. Bad people are bad people from the get-go. Good people can seem like bad people when circumstances and conditions cause it. A previously loving wife would not decide to separate the family at Christmas without reason, and "jealousy" is generally what egotistical people say is other people's problem with them, refusing to how their own behavior is affecting others. You never once mentioned the reason your wife gives for this behavior. If she said she wouldn't spend Christmas with your family, and you two have gone to counseling over this, I'm sure you know her reasons, and I highly doubt she said "I'm jealous of your awesomeness". You not only insulted her character in your post, but also that of your step, so it seems like you're not embracing her either. In fact, it seems like you really dislike them. To put it short and bluntly.. I would wager a lot of money on you (and probably your -) not being the saints you're making yourself out to be. I'm not saying she's blameless, but you have solidly hoisted the entirety of the blame on her in your post, I bet most certainly undeserved. professional male seeks accepting female
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