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If that be the case then I can only offer this advise. When you vowed for better or worse this wasn't the future you envisioned for yourself. It would seem to me "your" vows are holding strong and his are getting weak. This is not necessarily the end of the road for the marriage. Threats are just that and if you his bluff then you must be prepared to it through. If he is in and out of the relationship now then he is most likely planned or planning his exit strategy already, Spouses are part of a plan for the future in hopes of happiness and life together sharing and learning coping and correcting the bumps and bends of life in hopes of a white picket fence and tulips in the yard. don't always work out that way. Look at your situation through fresh eyes and ask yourself why you stay, Divorce sucks and no one here dispute that fact, but sometimes it's better than the alternative. are your legacy to this life, blood is thicker than water and you must protect theirs that's your job. What you show them now,they take with them when they go out on their own. How do you want your future to reflect on theirs? Help her get the car if you think you can handle the payment when she can't and tell him you want to a therapist and if he refuses change the locks on your bedroom door. You can't kick him out of the house but you can kick him out of your favor. You need to find out what is most important to him as well. After all he "IS" your spouse and entitled to half the responsibilities. His monetary investment isn't always the best but ask yourself what does he bring to the table? But that's just my opinion. looking for some true girl friends or one really great one adult chatroulette sites that actually work
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