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I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the nature of domination and submission. I've always been somewhat averse to identifying as anything D/s it feels too claustrophobic for me, limiting but, the acts themselves one can engage in power exchange activities without existing in a predefined role or interaction. As a “meta-kinkster,” most of my thrill comes from watching my partner, the crowd the other. I read a lot about other peoples fantasies, and it occurs to me that I don't honestly have any. None that I think about constantly. There are a few latent desires that might cross my mind from time to time if the subject comes up but I never have anything in my head when I masturbate or dream of that next partner. The sum of my kink lies in a feeling in my gut a steadfast resolution to hit a particular high and make myself uncomfortable, or push myself it is interesting to say it that way but honest. When I have my trussed up and I am in control domination for me is a surrender to my base desires of the moment. That is the nature of domination for me a surrender to my own self submission is much the same a surrender to my base desires. Along with that comes an assumption that I have communicated with my partner, understand what they want (are willing to go through) and that they let me know if I am doing something unpleasant in a bad way or listen when I tell them they are doing something I'm not down for. Mental domination seems to be an entirely different beast for me though. Perhaps it has a lot to do with my past. With some people it is almost a compulsion I'm like a shark catching a whiff of blood in the water. Those people walk into the room and I can instantly feel my mental lips peel back over my fangs, spoiling to take a bite. And in that world there is absolutely no room in me for a submissive attitude. I don't have it in me to be mentally dominated. What is the nature of your kink? Is it a compulsion? A drive for a certain feeling/high? Is your kink more mental or more physical? If you engage in power exchange what is the nature of your domination? What is the nature of your submission? Do you fantasize? And if so how does that translate into your actions? looking for someone to fish with tonightYou're in NYC. There are a lot of different scenes there. Is she jet setting crowd? My experience with that group is that they are, in fact, catty bitches and very appearance oriented, to the point where they do insane things like become bulemic so they can be size 0s. On the other hand, if she's middle class and hangs out with other crowds then she just has image problems. Either way, there's something wrong. Get her to the Cubbyhole or something. single ladies
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