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there wouldn't be a second date ;-) I think it's unreasonable as hell to put that on someone on or before the first date and you might have to kiss a few frogs first. Your interests aren't the only ones that matter his interests are just as important. I think if you pay attention you can figure out whether someone's serious. I personally would be a little weirded out by having this kind of discussion even at date six. Here's a short (and not all-inclusive) list of things I'd be working out before I was ready to discuss marriage and a family 1. Most important, is she a nutjob or just pleasantly quirky? 2. What about her moral compass? Is she honest? Is she as nice to the waiter as she is to me? 3. Does she know how to laugh? Does she know how to laugh at herself? 4. Is she self-aware? Committed to self-improvement? 5. Do we stimulate each other intellectually? 6. What about spirituality? Do my beliefs and hers fit together? 7. Are we sexually compatible? (This one takes awhile as most people can honeymoon well.) 8. How does she react when the going gets tough? Okay. Once I get the answer to all of those then I'm ready to discuss commitment. I'm guessing this probably doesn't line up with the biological clock ticking away, pinkytoe but a good relationship takes time and work. If you brought up marriage and on the first date I'd be one of those who ran away screaming as you'd just flunked #1 ;-) in there - seeking a quiet and peaceful LeadenhamAnd yes, I mean **absolutely** as in absolutist absolutely to believe in the institution of marriage. Your own story is a case in point. The in the garage left you with no recourse but to leave. Had he been your husband, you could have had recourse in a divorce. If your husband wrongs you, the law entitles you to clean his clock, as well you should. You could have kept the house and kicked him out of the garage with nothing but a for alimony, unless he could show that you shared the blame for the failure of the marriage. The key factor is accountability, completely absent in so-ed "committed LTRs outside of marriage," an oxymoron. That said, you seem to need more practice at choosing the men you relate with. mobile chat
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