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Look, I'm not seeing a whole lot of proactive stuff from the dad, it's a shame and I think he's weak. But I kinda get the weakness, guilt, shame in losing them and it sounds like you two don't think much of each other. So here are his in the family he's no longer a part of. I've dealt with this on different levels but I was a step parent it was interesting to say the least. One thing I caught on to PDQ was I saw my ex going through all the motions with C's dad, she did the right things. Never blocked any sort of contact, sent pictures and report cards, updated events but underlying it all was the attitude. I know she wasn't trying to show the disdain but it lacked real encouragement. What helped out and I'm not going to say this work was I talked to him about his dad loving him..ect.. Then when the next time we did something and he accomplished a goal, as as we got in I said he should up his dad. I bet he'd to hear about it. The kid actually started to TALK to him and when he shared what his dad would say we would both act more approving, excited for the kid. A more distant approach to the bad shit and a more enthusiastic to the good. You know, like when this girlfriend crap hits eh, whatever. He has a new girlfriend, oh did you guys get to do anything fun together? Let them know it's OK to like this new person because she could be a good person, you don't know and they should at least give it a. More of an attitude shift and an awareness that even if you're doing the motions, be careful of the vibe. I know you don't think much of the ex but my ex seems to have a good relationship with her -'s father now. I'm proud to have been part of what helped turn that around. You might be doing all that already but throwing it out there. sbf wants a man for dating ltr
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