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- Awards It's time again for the annual '- Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the -'s in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That' s right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy. Here are the Stellas for the past year: * SEVENTH PLACE * Robertson of, Texas was awarded $80, by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own. Start scratching! * SIXTH PLACE *, 19, of Los , California won $74, plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Scratch some more . * FIFTH PLACE * Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $ , for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more it s a boring monday night any single cute short chubby sub females- years ago, there was an ice storm in November, just when the loons were migrating south. The weaather forced of them down, and it seems loons need to land and take off on water. Unfortunently they can not tell the difference between a lake and an ice covered road. There were confused loons in the middle of the roads all around my apartment. Animal control sent us to The National Wildlife Research Center, just down the road, and they said they would by when they could. I asked if it would help if I collected them from the area so they did not have to do as much driving around to get them, they were incredulous, b ut did say somelthing like "if you can". I should have known they were telling me something. Loons are big birds and they do not much like people. The first one was not to much trouble, I scooped it up in my arms before it really knew what was happening and my room mate opened the Land Rover hatch for me to put it in. I only got hit in the face once by a flapping wing. The next one was different, I think had been tormenting it and it wanted nothing to do with me. I managed to scooop it up, but not before I had fallen more times then I care to remember. When trying to get it into the back of the Rover, The first one freaked and I had to upset birds to deal with trying to extrace myself from the truck and close the hatch without hurting someone. The third one, we put in in the passengers door, let the birds settle then got in and shooed it into the back so we could go look for more. The forth one was much the same. We took them to the auto shop I was partners in and let them loose in the shop. I went back out looking for more alone because my room mate had had enough of big birds. With out him, I could take 5 birds. What I remember most about the night was having 5 hyperventlating loons and me in a very old Land Rover and the windows steaming up so I opened my window a little and all the birds rushed me trying to get out. Trying to drive, through fogged up wndows and having to defend myself against 5 deturmined birds is not something easy to forget. desperate women
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