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I don't know if you've been following the drama related to "- Arraf," the "- Girl in Damascus" blogger who was supposedly kidnapped in Syria because she was a lesbian blogger. It turns out she was a he, a straight guy named MacMasters, and that one of the debunkers was the owner of a site ed LezGetReal, himself a straight pretending to be, a deaf lesbian mother of twins, who is in fact a straight named Graber. Both men are clearly exploitive, and reeking of entitlement. Some links: The "-" blog posts don't read like those of a woman or a lesbian; the posts on LezGetReal are in fact not convincing either and very transphobic. In fact the entire site strikes me as essentially designed by and for straight tourists. My questions: Am I right in thinking that this kind of faux lesbian is related to straight men pretending to be lesbians for sexual kicks? Is the use of Lez and Lezzie a linguistic marker for someone who is in fact hostile towards lesbians? I don't know lesbians who use either outside of sarcastic use, and it's one of the things that I do hear from straight men who are overtly hostile, but maybe I'm just old and cranky. As usual. heart of gold seeks lady with sameI've been with my great for 4+ years, married now almost a year. All is great.. I've noticed a trigger for myself, he went on a trip to his family this year and last year, I couldn't go. But both times left me upset, and with very atypical-for-me, depressed abandonment issues. I didn't tell him, because I didn't understand why I was having those feelings. Knew he was perfectly justified in going. So I started journaling, trying to figure out my prob and learned I have some residual childhood things to deal with. Borderline personality and bipolar mom. Anyway, I finally told hubby I want to work through some of this stuff, we decided to read "the languages" together. I flipped to the back and noticed a particular question that says, share your best and worst childhood memory. Well, my worst is that I was date raped- (my first sexual encounter) when I was 17 by my own boyfriend of 6 months, which obviously ended the relationship. And I learned he had already been seeing another woman by the time he did that. So at the time, I wrote about it in my journal. My borderline personality mother sneaked around and read my diary and misinterpreted, thought I was having a normal sexually active relationship. I didn't tell her what happened because I thought she wouldn't believe me. And for months she ed me a whore, , said she hated me, I would never be as good as my sister blah blah blah I ended up suicidal to the point of making intricate plans. Anyway, I know this is some of what I need to work through, plus more. I'm worried about telling hubby this he is just barely grasping a notion that my mom might have been challenging to deal with, he doesn't understand what I've tried to tell him about her mental probs. She's on meds now and rather sweet. I hear guys don't want to hear about their wives past sexual experiences/drama etc. Do I tell him or not tell him this. I can't deal with him not understanding/not believing/judging, etc. He is a reserved guy, nice. This is totally different than anything he knows about me, I'm a professional, very independent, calm, happy, I'd say normal :) Thanks for reading all this.. any input greatly appreciated. friends dating
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