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1. I wouldn't support his alcoholism in any way. So I would not have been in the bar drinking and pretending that it was okay that he is an alcoholic and doing that. Just because you don't have a control problem doesn't mean that your influence doesn't effect him. When my DH splurges and eats something crappy and unhealthy for lunch, it makes me all the more likely to partake myself. No, you're not his mom, but I like to think that a responsible SO helps to make up for their partner's weaknesses. So I would have just ordered a coke. 2. I think that it is your SO's responsibility to handle that sort of thing. So that could mean smiling politely and walking over to you, or nicely refusing and saying, "I'm taken." Yes, she already knew that, but a comment like that would have likely embarrassed her into stopping, particularly if he walked back over to you and put his arm around you. 3. I wouldn't have said anything except, "Sweetheart, I'm cold, could you put your arm around me?" or something equally stupid, yet capable of getting the point across that he was mine. I doubt she would have kept flirting with him snuggling you. That would hurt anyone's ego. 4. I think that you come on here every other week worried about one thing or another. This could mean a mismatch with this guy, an insecurity on your part involving your own self-esteem, or a combination of both. In any case, you need to deal with it, or it never improve. You'll feel exactly the same 10 years from now, 20 years from now. Have you considered therapy? sex in Yale Oklahoma nh
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