222 w4m i know i said no. it was completely my choice and i don't regret it.
but even after a year and a half, you are everywhere. in the sad love songs i hear, in the happy couples that pass by my porch, in my teenage memories.
i hope you are blissfully happy with her-that would be so great. but no matter how rational and logical i am, i find myself imagining that you might be waiting for me, the way you said you would.
i'm not posting this for you to read or respond to. i hope i'm not the type to post these annoying, overly dramatic missed connections on CL (i.e. this seems somehow desperate), and i have no expectations but there's this odd sense of peace in making these feelings public. even if you never read it. especially if you never read it.
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the only love i need it could be you Letting whomever run amok in my life whenever they decide to? I have seen WAAAAY to people deny themselves for others, or depend on others for their happiness, only to be let down time, after time. Perhaps I should start depending on others emotionally. Cause the crying, and whatever goes with getting the shaft sounds like fun- wait- no it doesn't. Why do that to myself, when I can have a mutual understanding, until it is no longer mutual, and then move on? No messy tears, or vengeance involved. Just a,'Well, that was nice.' and then move on. The is find the person that has the same idea about life(and all things concerned with it) as you do right? Well, I'm sure that there is more than just one person in the world(being that there are people in this world), that would be a good fit. Just because what you have is comfortable, doesn't mean you have to lay back and accept that it is the best it can be.
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