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First, YES, It's very typical for a husband and wife to have "power" struggles. Usually I've heard the issue characterized as control and communication and not so much power , but I can it this way. So yes, what you're going through is typical, despite what you might read here. Second, this whole veto power concept. It has nothing to do with the fact that you are the. For me, a coequal partnership gives either partner "veto" power. If both parties don't agree on a decision, then it does not get made. Now let's take a look at your examples. 1. Learning center. Your veto wasn't "over-ruled". What happened was, you yielded and agreed to what she wanted. If you wanted to prevent your kid from going to the learning center, you could have done so. Probably wouldn't have been very smart of you, though. You probably did the right thing by yielding. 2. Sounds like she respects limits that you set. Do you respect limits she sets? 3. This is the typical in-law problem. You seem like a of rules, so let me spell this one out for you. It solve your wife's in-law problem. Ready? whenever there's a conflict between wife and mom, side with wife against mom. Your mom is the family of origin. Your wife is the head of your family of selection. The marriage takes priority, period, end of story. You've been conditioned by your mom to make her the matriarch and it's going to cost you your marriage if you don't drop it. Any questions? need anything looked at
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