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THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears except that he was missing was a good quarterback. Even after scouting other pro teams and colleges he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN he saw a zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window yards away. KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. BLAM! "I've got to get this guy the coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the wants is to his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are not my -!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old pauses, and then tearfully says, . "I never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!! married man home alone next week
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