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and expected. You doubt your own judgment, that is normal because your core beliefs have taken a hit. There is no one universal way to say it since everyone is different and the same. Even though there is no one way, there is one common denominator. That common denominator is to tell the truth in your own way, that is all that is asked of you by you. You can not control what they hear or want to hear, so you say the truth as clearly as you can say it. Emotions and feelings are not a static thing and change with time and the increasing familiarity. You only have control of what you do and say, so that if things should go south you know you were honest and truthful, and not playing games as you are currently doing. You talk of coffee, but that is not all you want, you want the intimacy and all that goes with it without the attachments. While what you seek is not common it is a possibility. You find it difficult to find this FWB and they don't normally in general last, as far as the sexual intimacy part goes. You find that you be the one that eventually wants more and if they are not in that same frame of mind at that same time things unravel. You make it sound like you have their welfare at heart, in part you do, but you are thinking more of your own welfare. Nothing wrong with this, but you must be honest about it, especially to yourself! You have it all wrong; you tell the truth, which is the right thing to say, more for your own sake than it is for their sake. any women want a Cheshire endingHere is a cut and paste from the wikipedia article on Maslow's hierarchy of needs: All humans have a need to feel respected; this includes the need to have self-esteem and self-respect. Esteem presents the typical human to be accepted and valued by others. People often engage in a profession or hobby to gain recognition. These activities give the person a sense of contribution or value. Low self-esteem or an inferiority complex result from imbalances during this level in the hierarchy. People with low self-esteem often need respect from others; they feel the need to seek fame or. However, fame or not help the person to build their self-esteem until they accept who they are internally. Psychological imbalances such as depression can hinder the person from obtaining a higher level of self-esteem or self-respect. Most people have a need for stable self-respect and self-esteem. Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs: a "lower" version and a "higher" version. The "lower" version of esteem is the need for respect from others. This include a need for status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. The "higher" version manifests itself as the need for self-respect. For example, the person have a need for strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence, and freedom. This "higher" version takes precedence over the "lower" version because it relies on an inner competence established through experience. Deprivation of these needs lead to an inferiority complex, weakness, and helplessness. swinger personals
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