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I was thinking of safe words during most of this. It's my own style, but she withdraws consent all sexual activity stops at least enough to renegotiate the activity. Doesn't matter if I've already fucked her twice that evening or if I'm six inches deep in her at the moment; she can withdraw consent at any point. sphynx' 'unauthorized orifice' comment rings true here someone might consent to some sexual contact but that doesn't give you license to do whatever you want. An amusing side note on her barebacking comment every sex worker I've known guides the guy into home plate, not to help with the inevitable first assignation fumbling around but to insure the still has his condom on. A very few guys try to put a small tear in the condom so it peels back when he enters her so any sex worker who's worth her fee knows where the -'s hands are and keeps an eye on Mr. Happy from the time she puts a condom on him until he's no longer in a position to damage the condom. If I'd had drinks at the bar with a woman and she invited me back to her house sex would be high on my list of expectations but I don't always get what I expect. Even in the worst case where she's a complete prick tease when she says no that means no. Sorta OT but I prefer to use a pair of safe words one that means "I'm getting close to my limit so be careful" and one that means "stop what you're doing immediately". Traffic light colors work well for this ;-) sex college girl in san brunoI make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. meeting married women
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