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You are right in regards to my using the word "allowed" I understand how that sounds. Obviously I feel that way subconciously or I wouldn't have typed it out but I didn't think of it that way since that is not intentional.. I guess I used the word allow, because I was trying to convey that I have always had an open door to help facilitate my -'s relationship with father but I guess to him it is just that, being allowed or not allowed. I don't count on support personally, but that doesn't mean I am ok with not getting it. I don't like counting on anyone for my or my families livily hood but I also don't think he should have an easy out and choose when he wants to pay. I really DO think my ex husband is a good person, which is why this makes things more difficult. My expectations of him are high based upon knowing him. In reality, I don't know exactly what is going on but based on what I have witnessed and discussed with his family I'm sure there is something causing this. His mothers first words when I had ed her was "He is a liar" No one has ever said this about him before. He was always the. I didn't faciliate that topic any further with him mom but for her to say that really bothered me. I have told my ex numorous times, I'm not out to get you and we used to be friends. If you do not want that anymore, then I have no control over that. But I am here for you. big breasted ladyAs they are older, they are better able to understand the reasoning, but don't kid yourself into thinking that your won't be affected. A divorce starts a constant round of "where do we spend the holidays, and can we invite Dad's girlfriend or Mom's new husband without it turning into a free-for-all?" One of my -'s friends is 23, and his parents just divorced he is devestated. At Christmas, he came to our house, in tears, because he realized that he'll never have the same family holidays. There is uncertainty as to what is a good relationship he thought he knew, but now he's not so sure. If your wife doesn't that lack of intimacy is ALSO a huge betrayal, then your wife is living in la-la land. I say this, though: women shut down when they feel that sex is being "demanded". It's a contrarian thing: The last thing they have control over is their body, and what can go in it :-) What would happen, do you think, if you just said, "OK, you win no more sex" and just smiled? Stop asking for it, stop hinting at it, don't touch her, etc. No cuddling at night, no coming up behind her in the kitchen and playing grab-ass, etc. I'm betting that a steady month of ignoring her sexually might turn on a switch in her. Right now, she has the satisfaction of knowing that she is wanted and desired and that be all she wants. Take that away Another thing to think about: Does she have a body image problem? (., has she gained weight over the years and just doesn't feel sexy?) She be avoiding intimacy because she's ashamed of her body and feels like if SHE doesn't like her body, then how can anyone? Ergo, anyone who wants to have sex with her is only using her for sex, because how could they possibly be getting any real pleasure out of her body the way it is? (I did't say it was logical but it's a possibility). I'm not reducing this completely to "I want sex and I want it now." ANY husband OR wife wants to feel desired by their partner, and enjoys knowing that their attentions are welcome. It's one of the perks of marriage. Sex is an important part of that intimacy in a marriage. Getting sex "on the side", however, would probably rip your marriage apart sounds like your wife already has trust issues, why inflame them? mature men sex
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