Thank You for Making Me Go, Charlie w4m I am meeting such nice, quality men now, and they are all very appreciative. I don't have to sleep with them to get their attention. I just have to be me. It is so nice. I was so in love with you, but maybe it was a child's type of love. Maybe that magic, the endless friendship and solid feeling I always had (which you seemed to have lost so easily, which made me even, well we know the stories), maybe that was just being in love with love, with your plan for our love. Your promises were too much for you to keep, but I believed you when you said I finally had a home and a family. I believed every intention you gave, but now I am being practical, and it is so much fun! Nice, no games, respectful. Sure, we don't talk of marriage or family or moving in together, but I don't have to wonder what is going on or why there is a conflict of words and actions. They match here, and my brain is so grateful. My heart? It will get over the whole thing. The other, I haven't tried, so can't tell you yet, but even if it is half of what we had, I'll be satisfied.
I've finally figured out why I always got so scared when you looked somewhere else or someone at you! It was because you meant too much to me. That child inside was always waiting to be hurt and have you taken away. When I don't care, it doesn't matter who looks. Real Catch 22, isn't it? Conundrum! Well, I guess I have to compromise for my sanity. I did not help our situation, but your love for you know who and your games there did not either. She and I would have been like sisters. What will you give them now?
Anyway, I'm having the time of my life and all the bad habits are not even a thought. Just takes a little appreciation and respect, I guess. I still love you, but I know you are not healthy now and you will not get the help you need, so I have to make myself try harder elsewhere and take the consequences of that. Can't all be so perfect, right?
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Im not an expert with relationships, and most certainly not an expert with women- but what I do know is: there are many many many good single women in the area, and pining over one that would discard you so easily is wasted time. Time that you could be posting here for a good, loyal woman who will be perfect for you and you for her. It is very painful, yes. But with age and maturity comes alot of peace.and i dont know how old you are, but if you were her first Im guessing pretty young.
I just want you to know it gets better. I promise. I just turned 41 and have had over a dozen girlfriends, and plenty more lovers over the years..my heart has been broken a couple times to the point of wondering if I'd live thru it- and YOU DO- i promise.
It took me many years, but finally met the most wonderful, kind, sexy, sweet, smart, and funny woman right here on CL over a year ago..so all my heartache and missed connections over the years were all worth it when I found her.
I do hope you stay strong and believe in yourself and your worth. One day a wonderful woman will recognize you for all your qualities that she is looking for and you will mutually love eachother, equally. I promise.
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