Fate is a cruel Bitch I knew that we could never be together and that hurt me from the beginning. Not because I am married although there is that and it is important but I know what I want out of life and you told me what you want and they are very different and totally conflicting. I never wanted to fall in love but apparently I can not control that. The fact that she found out has made my life so much worse than it was before but I still don't regret anything that happened. It does appear that it would have been better if I had at least tried to sleep with you. Maybe not better in general but I can't imagine it being worse and I would not have that what if nagging me. I don't think I have ever been in love like this. I can't stop thinking about you. I know we will see each other again and eventually we will speak again but I just can't handle it right now. I hope you don't feel the same way about me because this is very difficult for me and it was certainly never my intention to hurt you. I could never talk to you about the way I felt because my ego was afraid of you saying you didn't feel the way I did and I don't know how I would have reacted if you told me you loved me the way I love you. This month has been one of the most confusing things I have ever dealt with. I cannot explain the restraint it has taken not to reach out to you just to say hello and make sure this isn't affecting you the way it is me. I imagine I would have been told if you were hurting in any way. You really are an important friend to me and all I can do right now is hope you realize that the silence is out of love and nothing else. if you read this you should know who this is and who it's to and I don't expect or even really want a response I just apparently have to write shit out when I am emotionally confused. Array seeking holiday fun with mature ladywho needs some cock I'm very oral and ready to meet up I can host hoping to find something ongoing please reply with Beaverton sex girl dating beautiful people
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