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you are going to have to also accept from your husband. I don't really buy into your sales pitch, I don't % you as doing this out of choice but more out of need. I think there is going to be a time where you have to do more than just admit your sins to keep your marriage a time where the balance of power so to speak be greatly shifted. Where you have to be willing to put forth effort to show you really WANT the marriage..not just avoid being a single mother with an absent father. You are asking a who not have any legal responsibility toward a to take that on, to put himself in a position of having to support that for the next 20 yrs even should you decide to breach the trust of this marriage again. Its not important you convince me but as someone who's been in his shoes.. I'd look at what you say sideways I might nod, I might really want to believe you but you'd have to have come across MUCH better in person to convince me to even give it a try once I get past the initial shock. This isn't a situation where you came to him to save your marriage you were just about forced. That stated, you chose the right course of action, but I'd give that a lot less weight because it wasn't somthing you broke off..it was something that was broken by pregnancy. I'm not saying this to bash you, I'm saying this as someone who has been cheated on..and apologized to and told how much of a mistake it was..and yet I could still the core selfishness that placed under the pressure led to an affair. That does not excuse my role, nor your husband's but I do you needing to change in order for this marriage to work mainly stating where YOU went off the rails. What I is your agreed to wrongful justifications of why. I you searching for your HUSBAND'S shit to work on to avoid reoccurance. Honest gut reaction, fuck you, worry about your OWN shit. How about looking at where YOU wasted opportunity to keep your marriage intimate. It sounds like your hubby understands he screwed the pooch..I don't a whole lot more than "I fucked another guy" as your end. I you realize you did A LOT more than that. Good luck any mature honest girls in this townGreetings all; I thought I would do a short intro since I'll be subjecting you folks to my musings/rantings/etc. on some semi-regular basis. ;) I'm a 38 year old, geeky, athletic butch in Portland. My loves are my cats, reading, cooking, (both *good* ones and B-grade horror and sci-fi) and drumming (drum circle type stuff). I live in NoPo with two and a half housemates, two cats and a dog. Being a geek, I like to think that I have a few cells I can rub together and generate some heat. My passions are education, the Open Source/Free Software movement (I teach classes at Freegeek), diminishing the digital divide and incorporating rationality and spirituality into some kind of semi-coherent worldview. I believe in: education as a liberating force in the world; being a lesbian can be great for a womans' well-being; science as a candle in the dark; wet kisses that last for days; food as seduction; that big women are beautiful women; treating a like a. I think that's enough for now. Cheers, A singles matchmaking
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