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The are odd things about your post. Guys often break up. Very few leave their "lover" to go back to their parents. Very few who leave the nest want to go back for any reaason. He must have been very desparate. After 11 years, most people single or married have recovered from the financial stress of buying a house. After 11 years, the initial expenses are gone, the mortgage is a smaller percentage of income, and the investment (more than just money) in the home is substantial. He walked away from all that? Or did he run? and why? Guys come on here all the time crying about their broken releationships. Yours is the first concerned primarily with the mortgage. That is telling. Assuming you didnt initiate this relationship with an underage kid, your "-" was at least 29 when he left you. "Start all over", yes, but rethink your end of the deal to avoid a repeat. 45 is not to old.. (including myself) only start the first time at that age. amateur Mayer xxxYour right. People only have control over themselves. I have mentioned things, but not in depth. I do look inward, and I also look for advice from other avenues (kinda why we are talking right now). I read a lot, and look for answers to things I might be doing and not noticing. But that doesn't mean I haven't tried multiple avenues. The book I read was her idea. She asked me to read it, and I didn't even blink an eye. She read it, and explained how she felt about the steps. But after day, nobody would come to the assumption she had even read it. She mentioned, that she didn't like feeling like she was the only one unloading the dishwasher all the time. So I made a conscious effort to make sure I was doing it when it needed done. I even organized the shelves so that the could do it and not break every glass in the house. When I am home, I clean bathrooms, organize things that are in disarray. Fix things that are broke. And I make sure that we are a family and doing things together. I always tell her when she does things on her own, that I appreciate it and that she does a good job. But one example to the other, is that I checked her engine oil and it was empty. This was while I was washing it. I told her that she should check her oil every once in a while. And I was told basiy, I never do that, and I shouldn't have to. just looking for sex
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