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I wanted to reply to these two posts of yours, but didn't have the energy at the time: If you'd find it useful or relevant, here goes: I have two acquaintances in my past, both whom started out as femmes with core attractions to butches. Both femmes ended up identifying as FtMs, and both chose to transition hormonally (not sure about surgery if any). One finally settled on being a fey with a core attraction to other men, the other I believe is still with his butch partner. Not saying this should be your path. Just that, if applicable, here is breathing room for where you might be with things. women College shows pussy
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