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Something that's happening to me at a rate of speed now, that's surprising, unexpected, and I have no control of it, really (not that I'm wanting any control of it). It's just happening and a lot. It feels as if all of those classes in meditation and relaxation techniques that I taught when I was in my fourties(?) and all of my 'spiritual' books that I read mostly back then, that I keep in my library now(?) it all made sense to me then, but it was all a pale reflection of what Mother Nature is dishing out to me now, in the name of 'enlightenment'. I always had compassion for my husband, including when he became my former husband, and even when he was *hideous*. But I had a measure of Big Fear, and not enough backbone, to really deal with him. Now, our conversations are dominated by the presence of my Big, and I'm met with these silences from him, and more sweetness. He senses a change, and he's somewhat taken back. Then, there's other things that have taken shape in other significant relationships that I have. It's all clear, understandable, and fitting, really. This 'Goddess business' that I kid about is actually something that I take to heart. I want my candle to burn all the way down before I pass on. I want to all the way. Which is what's happening now. Gonna go polish my furniture now! God, I housekeeping!!! (not kidding) Big, Your nutty internet pal!!! Rock Springs casual encountersI tried to be generous in the property settlement because I knew he would have a hard time dealing with me leaving but I also felt I deserved to not suffer too much financially since I brought in as much income as him. So, here's the other side of the story. 27 years of marriage, out of school but still living at home and I wanted the divorce. When I left I took my personal stuff. clothes, what little jewelry I had, a few pieces of furniture that had been passed down my side of the family. I also took one of the cars that still had payments on it. I also wanted $ to pay my lawyer fees and the cost of moving. In return he got EVERYTHING, furniture, car, truck, house w/$60, equity (provided he refinance to get it so I wouldn't be financially responsible for it. In return I would sign quit claim so I wouldn't have any claim on the house. His comment to the offer was h@ll no. He wasn't paying me to leave him. I heard during the separation he would tell anyone that would listen how I was trying to take everything and how I was screwing him over so he wouldn’t agree the property settlement. I won’t tell you what he was saying about my character. After 3 years of separation we ended up in court for property settlement. In court I found out he wanted ½ of my K and part of the house I had bought during the separation. (Fortunately, I had a good lawyer who advised me to finance % of the house so I could prove I hadn’t used any joint assets to buy the house.) The ex didn’t bother to mention to the judge that he had cashed in his K that he had while we were married. I had to tell the judge about that. The Ex also tried to get me for desertion. The judge informed him that it wasn’t desertion – after all we were getting a divorce and I had to have some place to live. Then the judge just looked at him and awarded me my K and ½ the equity of the house. His anger and greed got the better of him. His slamming my character backfired. It just made people question what other lies he was saying and they ended up avoiding him. We could have been divorced in 6 months instead of 3 years and he would have been almost $30, richer if he had just taken what I’d offered in the first place. married seeking
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