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that is why I asked. =) But I do think the trust HAS to go both ways. We hear so much about trust worthy Dom/mes but submissives need to be trust worthy as well, imo. I mean, the Dominant partner HAS to trust the submissive to some extent to safeword, or to communicate when that "line" is approaching. My D could never push me as hard as he does (and as I want him to) if he were constantly having to second guess my assessment of myself. Of course, he needs to draw the line for me if he truly feels I am taking risks that he isn't willing to take with me. And on the other hand, we wouldn't be where we are today if we both weren't willing to take some risks. Nothing ventured/nothing gained? Perhaps this issue doesn't come up outside the "boundary pushing" dynamic? I don't really know. horny housewives Glendale
You say, "Some people give themselves to their partner completely and freely. All they ask in return is respect." I'm just trying to wrap my mind around that. How can she respect her husband when he clearly has no respect for her? How can she respect herself when the kink he demands from her makes her feel completely disrespected? Can you really not correlate her needing to keep breastfeeding and sexuality separate? By your thinking, what if her husband had an fetish, and demanded she role play as a little girl, and he role played as her father-rapist? Let's say she's an survivor, and she's disgusted, but she plays along a couple of times. And the mind fuck has put her psychological health at risk. So she tells him, no more. No can do. So he pouts, and sleeps in another room, and treats her like shit. He pouts like a and tries to bully her into compliance. Her body? Her choice? Is there really no boundary in your world? Because if I was ever put in that situation again, I believe I'd stab the bastard in his sleep. married guy for a confidantDear compassionate one, Please never disregard your gut feelings about a person and/or situation. Disregarding our intuition usually lands us in a mess or in danger. You are obviously very wise and mature to pick up on these red flags. They are definitely not in your imagination. Your "friend" is obviously operating from a state of fear. Fear promotes irrational and neurotic thoughts and behaviors. He be suffering from some degree of post-traumatic stress syndrome, but would have to a professional for a diagnosis. It is not wrong, weak, or unhealthy for you to feel compassion for him for his losses and his current state of pain. However, as any professional counselor tell you, all your and compassion won't fix him. It is natural to be attracted to his positive attributes. But from the obsessive/compulsive behaviors he's demonstrated in such a very short period of time, his unhealthy side would dominate the relationship. His need to make it official so is an indication that he is not operating from a place a strength. He is making the very common mistake that of us often do by jumping back into a relationship to heal the wounds and fill the emptiness of the one(s) that previously ended. I one thing that you learned from this is that if something does not "feel" right, there is usually a valid reason. I have one important word for you boundaries! You compromised your boundaries in the beginning by giving in to his pressure for a commitment too. You recovered by re-establishing your boundaries by declaring that you not open your life to a person who does not respect your time, personal space, etc But do you how you felt bad for establishing that boundary with him.? There is a great book titled "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend that you find very insightful. I think anyone would benefit from reading that book. Boundaries can be tricky, but stick to your instincts. It's understandable that you his good side, but please don't trick yourself into thinking that you can somehow have the side without the weight and toll of the unhealthy. Perhaps you could find peace in praying for him.? Be intentional and determined to meet a guy who has his wonderful qualities. Please don't settle! Best wishes to you! sexiest girl
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