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now later tonight from shouting to throwing things not at someone, but like a dish at the floor. I realized I had to change because it was controlling me. It takes work and to let your emotions be an authentic representation of who you are, what you want and how you are going to get it without blasting someone, or terrifying someone. Check out the library, lots of stuff there I'm sure. It takes time to mature cub for daddy bear relationship
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I know. I don't really have anywhere to go right now except for the fuckin library or out for a few hours. I really just don't even want to bring it up today. I'm worn out. I have job interviews I need to go to and nail my full time job and then worry about how to extricate myself from this shit. I'll probably just be quiet and sleep in the spare room until I get this ironed out. I just want to puke. hello lokken for my love
Go to where people are there to help other people or contribute to the betterment of the community. Whatever you do, you already know that it has to involve a change in your customary behavior patterns. Why not start there? What are you interested in? Books? Volunteer at the library. Food? Work at a food bank. Maybe you won't meet Ms. Right right away, but the change do you good. I'm not the type to get out and mingle a lot, but I know that whenever I do, something good comes out of it. buzzed and looking to chatlately I've been an ice-crunching walking wet on. :P Seriously haven't had satisfactory sex in almost 3 weeks. *mumbles* and not cause he isn't getting hard.. just other stupid stuffs. and my *special* friend has been super busy. *sighs* I haven't even gotten a RL congrats fuck yet (nothing says I you like "I'm not going to cum and I'm tired"..I'm getting tired of taking that as a challenge btw). *pouts* I've been hitting on people I know! Bad, bad bad. I very nearly convinced a guy I know to jump my bones in a library study room yesterday. *laughs* poor dear didn't know quite what to do with himself. I've known him for over a year and I think he's really sweet and totally smokin'. Anyway, I gave him a morality lecture about cheating a few weeks ago ('if you wouldn't want your SO to do the same, it's probably cheating' sort of convo) I thought he was in a on/off again open relationship. It's not open and as as he said he really wanted to "body slam" me right there (if only to what it would be like with me) but couldn't . I backed the hell off. (I was talking with him about my sen sem. project and it turned reeeaally sexual and personal). I *might* have grazed my left breast against his arm while he was working the mouse and met his gaze .that was the *sign*. I told him that I was attracted to him (he is attracted to me and was quite sweet about it) and that if anything changes for him over the.. he has my addy. Then I leaned across the table and asked if we're "still cool" and he said we were. I left it at that. On the way home I realized that I would have been disappointed a little if he had jumped my bones. I mean really, I don't really like jerks and he proved that he is a nice/honorable guy. :) I don't feel badly at all and I completely went back into normal bust-your-balls minx mode for our project. No weirdness. :) But being with him in that room working so hard on a project . made me totally wet. I'm horny and deprived damn it! online sex chating
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