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There comes a day in every parent’s life when the towheaded moppet turns his saucer-sized eyes upwards and asks, “Daddy, where does beer come from?” If you’re like most of us you’ll punt and say “Milwaukee.” Better-prepared parents explain how a delicate balancing act allows living yeast to metabolize the sugar in barley malt and boiled hops flowers into carbon dioxide and alcohol. The more insatiable moppets want to know why, exactly, yeast makes alcohol in the first place when it’s much more energetiy efficient to metabolize sugar directly to carbon dioxide, and now you’re stuck. Do you admit that parents don’t in fact have the pope’s infallibility and twice his judgment? Make something up on the spot? wanting 420 sexy lady
at the dog park, a squirrel tossed a Gillette beard-trimmer out of a tree, narrowly missing my head. Seriously, I felt it whoz by my ear before it crashed to the ground. I must have stood there like a dope for 10 minutes or more, looking down at the silver shaver resting at my feet, then up at the chattering (and clearly insane) squirrel, then at the shaver . It stands as the ultimate surreal experience in a life full of surreal experiences. Including the time a clown, sporting full clown regalia, put on a very enthusiastic puppet show (with a chimp puppet on one hand, and a skull puppet on the other) to the tune of "Countin' Flowers On The Wall" blaring from his car stereo while stopped in his car at a stop-light- and staring right at me the whole time. (And no, were not involved, at least not on my part.) The car was covered in faux stone and made to look like a monument on wheels. think it even had a working fountain on it. I do not make this stuff up. seeking our beloved geekIt was my house, Titled in my name and financed by me. I took all of my income and invested it into the house, he took his income from his failing business, and invested it into beer. We were together for ten years, but not married. I compiled a spreadsheet of our assets and liabilities, I then split them. He got the 20, dollar boat which was paid off, and his truck which was paid off. In addition, I split the contents of the house with him, he took all of his tools, etc.. He actually came out thousand dollars richer than me, I did not care. What did I get, a house with a bunch of half finished projects that was worth squat when he left. When I stood outside of that hotel room and watched him walk out with another woman, her carrying a bouquet of MY favorite flowers, I think in the few weeks after, if he came home, I would have beat him to death with a. By the way, he did not even after I saw him outside of that hotel room for two weeks, when he realized he was screwing a whore I suspect. single online dating
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