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" Better not say that or she might get depressed." Actually I think a more accurate description was "better not say that or she might get angry". But he was like that with everyone, NOT just me. Always calm, always held back, always repressed. I married him because I needed stability and I saw what he did as stable. I was too to recognize that withholding one's emotions (even from oneself) is not a sign of a person. You know like those who go postal all at once? "You really want to focus on your spouse behavior and not on your own." No, I've BEEN focusing on my own ever since then. But omitting the look at him and who he was/is has hindered my healing from the divorce, to some extent, because I still him in the perfect image he presented instead of what was hidden underneath. in my mind, I know he wasn't. But in my heart, he still holds that image because of how I was treated by him. He was deeply codependent, care-taking and enabling and my heart still wants to believe he loved me, even though evidence is that those behaviors were to control the relationship. " You just keep trying to justify you breaking your vows" AGAIN NO! IT WAS WRONG!!! I would never advise anyone to do that. It was a stupid mistake on my part. And I don't it as a mistake ONLY because of the effect, but because it was UNLOVING and that is ALWAYS a wrong choice. Okay? Apparently I have to keep repeating that to each poster. "How is it you can be together that and not mature?" Because my independence vanished slowly but surely under the pressure of illness, depression and a husband who's idea of marriage was to serve in all ways possible. Have you heard the expression "- with niceness"? It's rare, but it happens. Someone takes care of every little problem in your life until you can no longer handle any problem yourself. Most of it happened while I was ill (gastric problems, panic attacks, vertigo). People mature when they have to face difficulties. He kept me from facing the difficulties even by lying to me. I knew he lied just not to me. And you seem to put forth the idea that one spouse having an affair means it's okay for the other one to have an affair without leaving the marriage. Is that really what you meant? site sexy older women“To have public officials pointing fingers while victims of domestic violence are trying to figure out who protect them is just stunning,” said, executive director of the Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence. Though Kansas and its capital city have fared better than much of the country in this struggling economy, they are not immune to fiscal strains. The district attorney’s budget of $ million was cut by 10 percent, which would force about a dozen layoffs. Meanwhile the office is dealing with what Mr. describes as a “recent uptick in violent,” which he attributed to increased gang activity. “At the end of the day, I feel like my office and public safety are a priority,” Mr. said. But the decision by Mr. to respond to the budget cut by immediately refusing to prosecute misdemeanors in Topeka — though the cuts do not go into effect until next year — caught people off guard, especially given that he had written that the city “does not have the staff or infrastructure to provide victims of domestic violence with the level of service they have come to expect.” But Mr. said the county “forced my hand.” Buhler, chairwoman of the County Commission, said she did not expect Mr. to actually go through with his threat to stop prosecuting domestic violence. She said that all departments were asked to propose 10 percent cuts and that he asked for an increase. “We had hoped that he would not put that group of victims at risk, that he would find some other way to absorb the cuts,” she said. Burns, executive director of the National District Attorneys Association, said that around the country, prosecutors are being forced to prioritize certain types of cases, but that these decisions are rarely discussed in public. “Usually no one comes out and says that starting today I’m not going to prosecute that, which sends a message of failure and tells the community you’re free to commit that,” he said. dating bipolar
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