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You are confused about who's responsible here for the affair. Get this through your skull, SHE is responsible for the affair, no one. You are responsible for your role in what state the marriage was and is in but she decided to fuck someone on the side. She had other options, she chose that one. In taking on all the responsibility you're trying to keep control - if you change, which you have control over then you can fix shit. You're dead wrong. You have no control over her, none and right now you're giving up all your power and allowing her to feel safe. She still has the options and this whole indecisive routine of her's is a way to keep those options open tell you this is working to an extent keeps you dancing and tells you all about these "strong feelings" to keep her option there. This way she gets to go through the motions of 'working' on your marriage until she's well prepared to bolt. You are a in a glass case, the backup plan How's it feel? Well if you want any you need to be willing to walk away. Seriously, you and the family are not some damn choice that's up to her. Fuck, it's up to YOU. don't you want to be worked for, she needs to fight for you too. None of this I'm trying bullshit fuck that. No more romanticizing the part time. Nope, if and when she decides to get her shit together then she has a but you're going to have to a real commitment not speeches. You'll work on being who you think you should be, you're a of your word but you're not taking the hit for her shit. don't let anyone ever tell you another person's choices are your fault and don't ever think that you have some control over their actions place that responsibility where it belongs. Of course she doesn't look worth every effort on your side when you do that does she? But if you don't your not worth any effort at all, because you don't insist upon it. Until you do you won't deserve better. crystal or fucking mature whateverYour husbands happiness, especially in your situation, is completely up to him. You not be able to make your marriage work unless the both of you are trying. Your husbands way of dealing is blaming you and having an affair. He doesn't seem to be trying. From what you've typed so far it doesn't seem as if he cares what makes YOU happy in this marriage, it's all on his terms. Perhaps try couseling for yourself only. Focus on your own happiness. totally free online dating site
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