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i've had one friend younger than me die in a freak motorcycle accident, and watched my best friend's mom die a horrible death from cancer that remained undiagnosed until a week before she died. (thanks, kaiser-oakland, you miserable fucks!) last night i filled out my living which states that i do not want to be left attached to machines if there is no activity. i filled out a notice of death with dignity. similar. i filled out a form ed funeral requests to save my loved ones from pain and conflict with one another from guessing my needs. i also filled out a statement of wishes to give myself a little peace of mind. (such as, nuke the pc for all that is on it.) if i died tomorrow i would not leave behind real assetts or any debt whatsoever, so a statement of wishes is sufficient. perhaps most importantly, i filled out a power of attorney for health care. this means that if i am unable to make my own health care decisions, the power does not revert back to my fascist, cruel and extremely religious and homophobic parents who hate me. i have legally designated my best friend as the one who make these decisions. and we have discussed them in depth, after watching her mother last year be unable to speak or think clearly when the doctor was trying to ascertain her desires. and you know, folks if you are thinking that you would just do this stuff if you were diagnosed, etc.? my friend's mom was tap dancing right up until the last month, was planning a trip to and was told she had bacteria in her stomach and not to worry. within a week of being hospitalized, and before they found the massive cancer in her stomach, she had lost her ability to act on her wishes. so. this thread has been a huge distraction from the election and into mortality. but if you have not made you wishes clear, and you do very much your loved ones, please think to act. trust me, you don't want the people you to redirect their pain into fighting viciously over cremation vs. burial, or what to do with the ashes. brutally honest good looking fun
Anyhow, we sort of fight about this whole thing. She feels insulted and not trusted. I feel hurt. We talk about it, I tell her that I’m not going to ask her to unfriend the ex-bf or stop texting the trainer. I just ask her to understand that I’m having a hard time with it. I also tell her that I’m not accusing her of anything but I just can’t help but to wonder what’s going on. This is Tuesday afternoon. In the back of my mind I’m hoping that she decides on her own to unfriend the ex-bf and stop texting the trainer. The next night (last night) I get home from work and she hasn’t unfriended the ex-bf. I don’t know if she’s continued to text the trainer. She goes to bed early and my stomach is churning again. Again, and wrong and untrusting of me, I check her laptop and FB messages. She has deleted the messages from the ex-bf and deleted the messages between her and her trainer. At this point I’m wondering why she’d do that unless there was something that she wouldn’t otherwise want me to. Again, my stomach is churning. I’m mad. I’m hurt. I go to bed after her and she rolls over. She can probably tell that something is wrong as I sort of ignore her getting close to me. She asks if anything’s wrong and I tell her yes. She asks what and I tell her that it’s nothing we haven’t already discussed. I tell her that I’m still having a hard time accepting this situation but I’d learn to deal with it. florida bitches onlineChub bottom bi white male, looking for fun- m w w. best dating websites
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