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seem a bit too rigid I mean, they seem to be like orders given, and not a give-and-take agreement between partners. You have been raised to expect certain behavior from others, like being on time, etc. but why is YOUR way the only right way? Others were raised differently. Frankly, you sound controlling. I'd that set of rules, too. It reminds me of the mindset of of those from Native American ancestry, and several other cultures, where the passage of time is seen as an endless cycle with no definite beginning or ending. Tell a Native American to meet at a certain time, and they show up an hour or two early or late. To *them*, they are on time because "6:00 in the morning" means "sometime around sunrise". Is it wrong? Of course not. It's just not YOU. Trust always goes both ways, and goes with respect. If I know it's important to my spouse for me to be on time, then I'll try to meet that expectation. In return, he tries to be more understanding of my need to fudge the time. It really just comes down to picking your battles which ones are worth the argument (being on time for work) versus which ones can be let go (having dinner ready on time). For the most part, if I'm timely on MOST matters, then it's easier to trust my judgement when I need to be late. As for your last part, I fully agree with it. However, there has to be some compromise and understanding of your partner's mindset, too. Like sphynx said above, if a lower-priority person is having a temporary need for my attention, I'll expect my family and husband to understand the change of focus for a little while. As as the general welfare of my (1) husband and and (2) home and finances are not THREATENED by my hiatus, then they should understand. In other words, I'm not going to apologize for not cooking your dinner one night while I'm sitting by a grieving friend's bedside. And if you complain about THAT, you'll be history. Birmingham Alabama with girl sexTake a deep breath. Right now you and your to be ex are living in the same place so just get prepared for filing for divorce and motion for custody. I recommend that you file your motion for custody as as you figure out where you are going to live. (Since you make the money and she does not, do not file a motion for support or spousal support.) You end up in court ordered mediation who make a recommendation to the judge which likely be adopted by the judge. Start thinking about your motion for custody. The court standard be what is in the best interest of the. If the are happy in their current schools, think about where you are going to live in terms of the school district of the. You have a bit more flexibility to live in the same school district. As for discussing custody with the girls, the courts look on the custody issues as an adult issue and it not be wise to share with the court/mediator that you have discussed the issue with the. The mediator interview the older. So start thinking about your motion for custody, begin writing down why it is in the best interest of the to spend more time with you. Think about a custody schedule. Her mental problems is not the issue (however, if she has been diagnosed with a mental disorder you want to mention it; however; it is a doubled-edge sword as it is not in your best interest to say it is so debilitating that it implies she can't find work as it effect that length of time you pay spousal support), you need to be able to cite examples in your motion of how her anger impacts the girls. As for spousal support, you want to ask the court for her to get an vocational evaluation/assessment. It be money well spent (it likely be your money). The idea is if a professional can identify a path for her to take to obtain full time employment, the court have something to rely on in the future is she is chooses not to pursue full time employment. Unfortunately these days, we tend to worry about stuff we do not have any control over. If your wife is angry, it is unlikely that you easily reach agreement. It be better to let the court decide, knowing that it could be changed in the future. Good Luck married and dating
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