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I just do. I appreciate your capacity to be nice to virtually everyone. I don't share it and I'm sure it requires work and effort unless you are Buddha but it's something I really admire about you. Re: the thread. If the OP is engaged and this unsettled about settling down she should probably hold off on the engagement temporarily and might be too to get married. The "experimenting" sounds to me to be more about anxiety about settling down with one person forever and less about a deep conflict about orientation. This is just displaced anxiety. The OP and her fiancee both don't take the possibility of being with a woman that seriously so for the OP the fantasy is a "safe" way of admitting she isn't ready for marriage. I think the gender issue is just a distraction from the real issue of feeling pinned down and restricted by the engagement, pinned down and restricted by religion, pinned down and restricted by rules. Because the fantasy goes against all that it is appealing to the OP as a form of relief but I don't necessarily think women or a woman are appealing to her, just the fantasy. Deer Park women Deer Park to fuckThat's not uncommon. Raising toddlers is amazing and rewarding, but it becomes mind-numbingly tedious without adult companionship. The good news is there's a whole universe of SAHMs and activities. You just have to hook into the mom network. If there's a parenting magazine in your area, look for play groups. Also look around for community centers that offer mom/kid classes and activities. If you make an effort to get out into the world, you'll find scores of mothers eager for companionship. Typiy it takes the form of play dates: the play, while the moms chat. And you don't have to hide your feeling of isolation: most SAHMs know exactly what it's like to be cooped up in the house all day with nothing but diapers and housework. They'll be sympathetic. It is a mistake to or expect your husband to provide all the companionship you need. You need friends. It'll be better for you, your, and your marriage if you build a social circle of other mothers. Your youngest be starting school. School is a fabulous place to meet other mothers. Get involved. Schools welcome parental involvement in kindergarten and first grade. Some of my best friends now years later are parents of my -' elementary school friends. What you're feeling is natural and fixable. If I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to the next mother you. Ask her what she's doing for companionship she be tuned into all kinds of resources. computer dating
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