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I was married for three and a half years to what started out as the woman of my dreams. After the first few months things went downhill. Now we have two kids and a life together, she hands me divorce papers.
I need to find a new place to live, and a new job.
I am a great listener and like to talk. I love the outdoors.
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No one ever messes with a guy driving an elephant So after a while of being on here and meeting people I think I've figured out exactly what I want!
* Please make sure you'e willing to text me all the time but never show up anytime we actually set up to go out. I really think it's hot when you continue to text me and tell me you really want to go out, but then magiy dissapear when I ask you out, then pop up again when you're "not busy"
* Please be married and ask me to be your back up plan in case something happens to fall through with your husband. I'm so glad you thought enough of me to place on the backburner and tell me about your little secret after a month.
* As a pre-requisite, please make sure to read every self help book you can find and spend the entire time we are together letting me know what is wrong with my life. I cherish the thought that even though I'm a therapist, you feel that those books that generalize people and relationships into 5 categories are much more adapt at running my life then I am.
* Please make sure to spend an entire weekend texting me about how wonderful you think I am and how great a time you are having with me and how much you miss me and want to see me again and then on Monday get really upset and say that I'm taking things too fast when I ask you if you want to go out later that night. It's even better that you never talked to me again despite the fact that you were the one who suggested over the weekend that we should go out! You were right, I did move to fast in thinking that you were actually a decent person.
* Please be in debt and have recently been in an accident which you caused. I really like it when a girl tells you on the first date she will go home with you if you happen to want to help her out with her drunk driving fines.
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The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty pound crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!" beautiful black women Dagsahlar
- has a heart attack, dies and goes to Hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I'm not sure what to do," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'm going to have to let someone go. I've got folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves." thought that's the way it is. The devil opened the first room. In it was Nixon in a large steaming swimming pool. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in Hell. "No!" said. "I don't think so. I couldn't do that all day." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Yasser Arafat with a sledge and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the, time after time. "No!" I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony," commented. The devil opened a third door. In it, saw Bush lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread pose. Bent over him was Lewinsky, doing what she does best. looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said, "OK, you're free to go!" Lightfoot Virginia for blacklatin cockI often say to myself "what the fuck?" from internet stuff but don't laugh out loud from the internet very often. And I have never rolled on the floor laughing from anything on the internet. And if I could laugh my ass off, I would. hot girl
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