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It's so peculiar how we on to the that our families become the warm, nurturing, and supportive people we need them to be. It sounds like your "parents" were weak in this area before you "came out," so chances are they not improve much with time. The treatment you have described is inexcusable in any situation. Time (and the lure of a granddaughter) might soften them a bit, but I have my doubts. I wonder what effect all this has on your daughter. These are toxic people and their poison has the potential to seep into all those around them (including your girl). I feel your (for family) in your posting, and the ache in your heart because this goes unmet. I have had more than a few friends who experienced rejection from their families of origin. They found great satisfaction and contentment as they built a "family" of their own choosing. Putting distance between you and them is a good thing and helpful in staying positive (very important if you live with chronic and/or terminal illness). As someone already mentioned, there is no book you can give them, there is no amount of and respect you can demonstrate to them, that change who they are or how they treat you. What you do need to do is TAKE CARE of YOURSELF. By staying physiy and emotionally, you are in kind, taking care of your daughter. I would also strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist that can help you work through some of the more traumatic aspects of your situation. Most community mental health agencies offer inexpensive (sliding scale) services at a very low rate. There are also group counseling situations that are affordable (or even free) based on your situation. (Contact any GLBT organization). I know people discredit therapy as a viable option, but having a someone who is empathetic, supportive, and genuine to talk with lift your spirits and help you get stronger. Blessings to you Divine .there are people out there who do care. married but looking to have afwb in my areaI apologize for top-posting without having posted much. I have been reading regularly since over a year ago, so I am very familiar with the process. Since this is an forum, filled with strangers, this is whose opinion I would really like at the moment. I want to take a poll. My girlfriend and I had a huge fight this morning. It was a continuation of a discussion we had last night. First, some background. I am in my mid-twenties, she is in her mid/late thirties. (The age difference is only peripheral to this I think). We have been together for about 14 months now. What is important is that, though I have been out to everyone in my life for most of my life, I only came out to my parents about a month after the two of us started dating. They are (as am I) from a different culture (let’s just say it constantly ranks with Saudi Arabia in terms of homophobia) and took it super hard. I am, however, an only, and my parents (especially my dad) me a lot. I know this. This is why, even though it was terribly painful to me do this, we have stayed in contact and have kept out relationship much the same. They told me that they did not want to hear anything about my girlfriend. I obliged, except when asked direct questions. Then I made it clear that she was still in my life and that unless they want to “go there”, they should maybe not ask such questions. I wanted to give them some time, and then slowly start to force the issue. I know that within the next year or so, I would insist that she be accepted and treated with respect, or my relationship with them would suffer. I figured a couple of years is a reasonable amount of time for them to get their bearings. My girlfriend and I were planning to move in together this month, something I did avoid telling my parents. I think they would misunderstand the move to mean that I am engaged to her or something like that (again, cultural) whereas the two of us are just “trying it out”. I her, but I have never lived with someone, and I do have a bit of a commitment issue, so needless to say this is all scary (though also exciting, of course). Bottom line, I did not want the added pressure to this whole situation of dealing with my parents at the same time. I wanted to tell them after we did it, and it worked, and it had been a couple months. hindu dating
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