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I do think that if he would just come clean with me on everything then I could move past this and start working on trust again. To tell you the truth he was never able to hook up with anyone cause all he got was spam bots and he had no idea that they were not real women. But the thought stays in my mind how far would he have taken it if just one woman had been real. But back to what I was saying if he had just admited it, gave me a logical explantion and did not push my feeling under the rug and just validate them then my marraige would be worth saving. I guess after reading over all of my own post and everyone elses the answer is right in front of my eyes! lookin 4 a drinking fiascoI once was reeled in from a not giving a shit attitude when it became really clear I was at great risk of losing my job (I was, in my early 20's) and I hated my bosses guts and thought that there was no way to please her and much gave up. I was moved under a new boss who talked to me and gave me tools to what I needed to accomplish to stay, and I saw them as attainable when under the old boss I thought nothing was attainable. I ended up being there years and thriving. On the other side, at the last job I mentored a guy in a downward spiral and flat asked him what he wanted. Did he want to be there? He really wanted to be there, so I asked him.. or told him that he knew what he had to do to accomplish that, and we spoke about it at length. I kindly spoke to him about how his displeasure was seeping into his communications etc and how he needed to really yank the bootstraps and deal with himself more than dealing with the personalities that were tainting his attitude. He did, and he thrived and is still there. I do agree that they have to want it. If they are already one foot out the door the best you can do is show them they are over ripe fruit and encourage them to look towards moving on for their own happiness. Good luck! chinese dating
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