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How much do you value your sexual gratification/exploration? How much do you value your wife? How much do you value honesty? Depending on your answers, you choose to: 1. Deny/repress your urges. 2. Cheat on your wife. 3. Tell your wife about your urges and if you can negotiate terms under which you can expore them. 4. Divorce your wife without telling her the real reason why. If I were you, I'd choose #3. It sounds like your marriage is at risk either way you slice it. You can risk your marriage by cheating and possibly/probably getting caught. You can risk it by repressing your urges leading them to manifest in unrelated and messy ways, perhaps becoming depressed, perhaps becoming angry with your wife for "holding you back". Talking to your wife about your urges is also a risk. She might flip-out. But it's a risk that shows her respect. It's a risk that allows you to be honest. It's a risk that just might have a good outcome. I have a friend who was in a similar dillema. He chose option #2 cheating on his wife. She caught him. Fortunately, it didn't destroy their marriage and they now have form of open relationship, she's even taken the opportunity from the incident to tell him that she is bi too. BUT, he's never lived-down his breach of trust. She exercises a kind of control over him based on his guilt for having cheated. In practice, their open relationship is not quite equal. She goes and fools around with girls freely, but his ability to fool around with guys seems signicantly less free. She kind of freaks out about it. I'm sure their relationship would be far more comfortable had he chosen to talk with her about it instead of cheating. professional blue collar male for female friend
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