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I'm gonna be kind of blunt about this. your mother betrayed the parent/- bond on about fifteen different levels when you were younger and staying away from her was a good idea. however that doesn't stop any human with a heart from wishing that their mother was a good and loving person and gee, why am I not surprised that she flipped out, denied any responsibility, and asked you for complicity and silence instead of forgiveness? I suspect that you have resorted to porn because, rather than being an exemplary, ethical or loving mother, and offering at least to enter therapy on her own (if she was the least bit serious, family counseling would be on the table) she continued the tradition of putting her needs ahead of yours and maybe, having lacked some basic building blocks of relationships (honesty, trust, compassion) growing up, you're having a hard time putting these things together in your outside life? no, your relationship is not good and. and my heart's a little broken for you, as it is for all the survivors of. you might add 'Another to Get it Right' by Vachss, and 'For Your Own Good' by Miller to your reading list but honestly? I think one of the best authors out there on the subject of lost childhoods, and the way we as adults have to be both parent and to our present selves? is a guy named DeLint. Writes really stuff about really, really hard subjects. I think some of his characters strike a chord with you, and maybe help. Saltillo cock looking for actionShe needs monogamy. I guaran-fucking-tee that. And she isn't getting that. AND I bet on her list of things she needs, that is NUMBER ONE. Selfish bastard. Give her what she really needs. Leave her so she can find a REAL (yes, a REAL one who is HONEST, FAITHFUL, KIND, GIVING, CARING) instead of a "fake" who only PRETENDS to be all those things. sexy grannies
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