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ca65 never wanted to be aloneNow you're asking how you fix it but in your previous post what did you say? My situation is different ie: SPECIAL That is the selfishness of your condition, a condition YOU are responsible for. That's right YOU. No, you're not responsible for your parent dying, nor perhaps % for the lack of employment but you are responsible for your reactions to them. Saying your situation is special is the ultimate cop out, a way of deflecting taking actual action so is the helpless routine, oh, how do I cope? I don't KNOW Look, I've been there. It was a really big factor in my first marriage failing. Faced with shit that happens in life I played the MY shit is harder than your's card and well yeah, to ME it was. Took a lot for me to let that go, took WORSE things to happen in order for me to stop adding to the shit going on in my life with my own inactions. Like I said, I had my laundry list too. I found out that once I got it through my thick fucking skull that feeling shitty about my situation wasn't going to do me any good and sure as fuck didn't excuse me from making my life better well what do you know, I got better. You want reasons why you can't do something? Fuck, too damn easy I'm sure you've got a ton of 'em. Too poor, too 'damaged' by your parent's death, no job, don't know how I'm sure you've got more. Fact is that the effort has to come from you, perhaps posting here was a start, you took the time to write on a board and get opinions..fine, you got some. So know what are you going to do? Help is out there, books both online and in hard copy articles for free and if you're unemployed, you've got some time to read now don't you? Also getting involved with LIFE, even if it's just a walk in the park or a visit to a coffee shop, get out and DO SOMETHING. We are all responsible for our own condition. That doesn't mean we won't feel sadness or times of helplessness it means it's up to us to DO something about it. These things you list that stop you they would be NICE but not absolutely necessary. Your effort is. couple seeking couple
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looking for a big Rosseau, Ontario workout partner Let's look at the irrational side of you, since that's the only control you actually have here. 1. She can be very stubborn but is this a way of coping, never talking to someone again, is it easier that way. You aren't her, you can say all you want about how she's stubborn but she has every fucking right to be. It's very selfish to think you know what's the right course of action for another person because it fits your idea of who and what a person should be. You need to look at who you are and do what you can to stop fucking trying to if you can twist her into what you think she should be. 2. I just cannot erase her from my life like it never happened and don't feel that is for adults who shared so much. No, you can't just erase her from your life our lives are what they are and we have to learn to deal with it but as for your follow up well so fucking what? Again your opinion of what is for an adult doesn't mean you're right. I know lots of people who've done very well never speaking to an ex again. Closing a door and moving on and no, it's NOT like nothing ever happened but they don't feel the need to stay connected, that's up to them. 3. Is it easier just to avoid someone you were so deeply in with rather than seeing/talking to them and if so why? I don't know but I do know that low to no contact is my rule of thumb. Doesn't mean it's fucking easy, heartbreak is painful but who needs to pull on the heart strings? As far as you getting how she does it well your focus is assbackwards here. You need to focus on how YOU do it. You don't get to make the rules about how she lives her life. She wants to be friends that's up to her. Now as far as the goes, that really sucks. Been there done that and have the height marks on the wall to prove it. IF you want to have any shot at remaining a part of the kid's life then make it about the and only the. No "Hi, how are you", nope request some time. Do so via or text, keep it short and to the point. And let her know you stop all other contact. One part of Mature behavior is learning to keep it about your own It's fucking hard as hell but it's the road out. i would like to try women of color
Boredom is a self-induced condition. Nobody can impress boredom upon you nor make you be bored. Boredom is a lack of creativity and motivation. What you need to be questioning is why do you feel uninspired to change your circumstances to something that feels different from "bored"? What makes you believe that he must be the sole party responsible for taking action? Why do you feel this way? As a sub in a distance D/s relationship, I would never use the word bored to my dominant. I'm not saying its not possible to run up against that feeling and it that in your own mind, but don't stop at the word bored. Take it past that. There have been times in my own dynamic that I have felt needy. At the time I might even have said "I need more kink, I'm bored". But I realized it was more in the nature of a submissive to feel more needy .to need more outlets for to please and submit and/or endure sadism. You might find its not your dominant that has gotten lax, but you are having stronger desires to submit more often or with more intensity. The gem of this sort of conundrum is that underneath the negative connotations it means that you trust him more to more .that you enough in him to feel like he can do more, set up more situations for you to exercise your submission. And that's a fantastic way to start that conversation with him to let him know that you have a for increased kink because he IS able to satisfy a need when you do scene. When I had those feelings I realized that my dominant wasn't complacent but that I had growing trust in him. And recently he even said "You need more kink". And instead of replying with "yes I've felt the same way" (or actually my first thought was "I need more D/s") I said something like "I'm fine" So even when presented with an opportunity to articulate a greater need based on greater trust and respect I totally backed off. I guess the bottom line is to stop ing yourself bored. =) Yes, there are conditions outside of you that he can and must change to progress in the relationship but boredom is all you. ;) and you can fix that quick. It is a natural part D/s to at times feel like your dominant is complacent. Because it *feels so good* to exchange power with him, to be in his hands, and to be under his ministrations. bbw still seeking that cuddle
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